The True Thought Process of a Mom In the Morning

No coffee at time of events, but blessedly, today I have had a delicious Smoked Butterscotch Latte from the Starbucks drive through. :)

Today is Bible study.
That means I am awake and ready to receive friends into my home by 9:00a.m.
The following occurred, sans coffee.

Awakened by husband when he gets out of shower.
Wakened again by husband giving goodbye kiss before leaving for work.
Wake up 20 minutes later from a WEIRD dream.
Wake up 20 MORE minutes later, realize have got to get moving!
Old body rises; semi-quick shower and dress.
Open the door to the bedroom.
The animals converge like a pack of, well, wild animals.
Look around the kitchen, not even certain where to start first.
Deep breath.
Clorox wipe the table top from cats sitting on it (naughty things) overnight.
Enter hallway bathroom to check toilet paper status.
See sink full of wet and drying Barbie assundries.
Curse the stupid cats that decided to use the Barbie box instead of the litter box yesterday.
Gather Barbie goods into alternate, non-sink, container.
Wonder briefly if daughter should play with Barbies at all.
Self image and all that mess.
Nah, she'll be fine.
Mama doesn't have a Barbie body; daughter knows where to find value.
Whisk Barbies to other location.
Re-rinse out sink.
Wipe bathroom mirror spots off and hang hand towel back up. 
Bathroom: done.
Look at kitchen floor in dismay.
So many little bits and things all over.
Too many four-legged animals for floor to stay clean for longer than 5 minutes at a time.
Decide if friends want to judge for dirty floor, they probably wouldn't be friends that keep coming back, and dismiss the thought of sweeping altogether.
Floor: done.
Look at pile of dishes.
Sigh.
Flip on Scentsy warmer, praying it has time for the floral scent to mask the Italian dressing smell coming from the sink.
Dishes today, definitely.
Must put on the list.
Turn around, completely forget.
Remember have two children.
Breakfast has to be made.
Wonder what to fix.
Oatmeal wins.
Better put fruit with it.
Wash an apple.
Notice little flecks of wax on apple.
Try to wipe off wax with towel while drying apple.
Wonder briefly how much fruit wax my children have consumed over the course of their lifetime.
Decide if they aren't dead yet, it's not worth paying $2 extra for organic apples.
Dice apple, promptly forget all about apple wax when go searching for brown sugar.
Find sugar.
Feel counter top.
How many times will children leave it crumby and sticky?!
Get Clorox wipes back out.
Wipe counter: done.
Mix oatmeal.
Microwave it.
Fix children's coffees.
(Don't say a word! Coffee helps here; the end.)
Set breakfast out on bar for kids.
Healthy meal: done.
Call them down.
Wonder if we will ever get on a scheduled morning time frame.
Not likely.
Trip over cats underfoot.
Love them. Hate them. Oye.
Decide to fix toast for friend who NEVER remembers to feed herself in the mornings.
Search for cinnamon/sugar jar.
Spices fall on head from cupboard.
Ouch.
Wonder where the 'special' coffee blend got hidden. (Away from self-sustaining coffee-making children's hands.)
Remember.
Pat self on the back for even remembering!
Make full pot of mocha coffee to share with friend.
Call children down AGAIN.
Will they ever listen?
Wonder briefly at failures in parenting.
Stress for approximately 20 seconds, breathe a "Jesus, help" prayer.
Turn to toast. Find plates, mugs, napkins.
Hear kid on the stairs.
Mentally steel self for morning jumble of words spewing from son's mouth.
Constant talking.
Wonder briefly if things will ever improve socially for him.
Let dog outside to potty.
Stress over Autism for 10 seconds.
Let it go.
Cut toast into triangles, and make it look pretty.
Snack for friend: done.
Let dog back inside.
Choose loving words when daughter walks downstairs ready to cry.
What?!
Just woke up!
Earth shattering, cry-worthy events between getting dressed and walking downstairs?
Wonder what teen years will be like.
Lord, need all the wine.
Turn this water...
Give hug, shrug at long hair bush/tangle/mess on daughter's head, and sit her down to eat.
Hear someone at back door.
Glance around one last time.
Deep breath.
Prep: done.
Friends spill in the door.
Dog barks, and study has begun.
Thankful for it all!

No

Today's drink: two cups (yes, two) of chock full o nuts coffee, each with whipped cream. (Don't judge. It's Monday.)

Which word is harder to hear?
"Yes."
"No."

For me, it is always no.

I think it may be safe to say that we all struggle with the "no's" that we get in life.
Remember being a kid, wanting that candy in the grocery check-out line, and your mom said no?
Remember being a teenager, asking for $20, and your dad said no?
Remember being in college, begging extra time to make up a paper because you didn't turn it in when due, and your prof said no?
Remember being a grown up, wanting to move forward, and God said no?

Yeah..... that last one is a doozy.

Fun thoughts while drinking coffee this morning.

What if we don't WANT to follow through on a "No" from God?
Well, we don't have to choose to stop.
Eve didn't.
Adam didn't.
Worked out *great* for them, eh?

Consider it like this:
Is it easier for a horse to stop, or to start, when it WANTS to run?
Well, starting is always easier than stopping, I'd think....
Run, run, run, feel the wind, enjoy the speed.
STOP!
Who's got time for that?
If an animal doesn't *want* to stop, then it must choose to obey direction in order to actually cease running.

We mean a lot more to God (and we are generally a lot smarter) than animals.

Obeying a 'no' has a lot to do with self-control.
Choosing to make our desires come to a halt, and put what we might think is best on hold, for the sake of obeying God...it's hard, but worth it. So that He can work.
So that He can go forward with His plans (His best, by the way) for our lives.

Hearing "yes", moving ahead, that takes guts, certainly!
You have to bite the bullet and not give into fear with something new.

But hearing No and choosing to obey it....
That takes a lot more courage, I think.

STUCK

Today's drink: some of the last chock full o nuts coffee, black.





I'm stuck.

In the house.
It snowed.
It's icy.
I'm running out of coffee.
Help me, Jesus.

#snowpocolypse 
#southernwimp
#runninglow

Idle Time Or Idol Time?

Today's drink: Chock Full 'O Nuts,  black.

Everyone was still sleeping when I woke this morning.
I crept out quietly to the kitchen, found a blessedly full coffee pot (dearest girl!!!) and poured myself a cup of heaven.

Taking a seat at the kitchen table in the silence, I opened my journal, and began to write.

Last night, we watched War Room for the first time.
If you are fan of Kendrick brothers movies, I'd suggest this latest installment. It was very well done. Inspirational. If you are not a fan of Christian themed movies, then skip it. It has some hard-hitting truths contained in it. If you're comfortable where you are in life, and you don't want to be challenged, then skip it. If you are happy with mediocrity, skip it.

I am NOT saying you're horrid if you skip it.
I am NOT telling you that you HAVE to see this film.
I'm not going to judge you, either way.

I am simply saying that it was profound for me, and if I'd avoided it, it would have been my loss.

That said, I began to write in my journal this morning.

What do I do with my quiet time in the early day? Do I spend it on stuff that is worth it? Do I chose to journal/pray/read/talk to God/challenge myself, or do I do something entirely different?

Some days, my early morn idle time is just that.... eyes half-open, coffee pouring in and perking my cells up to consciousness. I don't believe in being busy for busy-ness' sake.

I am a big fan of sitting still, and simply existing.

At the same time, I was challenged today... I am maybe TOO big of a fan if idle time.
I may be too big of a fan of filling my other areas of life that are not idle.... with idols.

What is an idol?
Something that takes the place of the Lord in your heart. Something you think about all the time. Something you base your life around. Something you believe you cannot be happy without.

Oh no.

Is coffee an idol for me?!

Eeeeeekkkk.

Okay.... too much deep thought. I should just go back to my point here, right?

What are some idols in my life? What have I allowed to become so significant, that I focus on it more than I focus on the Lord?
For what would I trade in my chance to speak with Him in the quiet?

I looked at my coffee mug of choice this morning, once I'd been challenged about 'idols', and I laughed to myself.

The mug has little drawings of undies all over it, and the words "Put your big girl panties on and deal with it".

I had a lot more to write in my journal after that.

Idle time?

Idol time?

Focused time?

The Lord's time?

Face my challenges.

Deal with it, girl.

Post Party Coffee Perk and Deep Thoughts

Today's drink: Chock-full-o-nuts with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon (fancy-schmansy at home).

Woke up when the husband left for work this morning.
Last night was his 34th birthday party. We had a house full of friends, good food, and good laughs.
It was a great night.
I woke still tired.
I never did go back to sleep.
BUT, I came out of the bedroom to find the blessed gift of an already made pot if coffee. :)
I made my cup, adding a bit of fun left over from last night's brownie sundae supplies.
Sat down to read.
This morning's content was Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend.
What ELSE would I read, when half awake in the early morning quiet hours? ;)
These words are deep, but I am seeing their truth being played out upon my soul, my, life, and changing my heart, my actions, and my responses.


"The Bible continually speaks of our being in the light and of the light as the only place where we have access to God and to others. But, because of our fears, we hide aspects of ourselves in the darkness, where the devil has an opportunity. When our boundaries are in the light, that is, are communicated openly, our personalities begin to integrate for the first time. They become 'visible,' in Paul's words, and then they become light. They are transformed and changed. Healing always takes place in the light."

This paragraph held enough for me to be thinking on for, not only the rest of the cup of coffee, but the rest of the day.

Chock-Full-O-Sweet

Today's drink: 6:00a.m. Chock Full O' Nuts coffee with coconut milk French vanilla creamer.

Woke early today.
When I came out of the bathroom, I could tell our tenant (the sweet girl that rents a room from us) had left for work. Why? Because the kitchen light was on, and there was the distinct aroma of fresh coffee in the air.
She blessed me today.
I filled my mug with yum, topped it off with creamer, and trudged to the couch to drink and become coherent. Well, kind of.
Drank the warm brew, savoring it on this chilly January morning.
I finished off the mug, texted her a 'thank you!' .....
and fell back asleep.

Woke sometime later to a little boy bounding down the stairs.
We had breakfast, and began schoolwork.
It's our first week back, and I am proud of us.
We've stayed the course, despite scheduling ups and downs, and despite mama feeling a little 'off' health-wise.
Still, school is moving right along.

I loved my coffee this morning.
I loved the sweetness of the girl who thought of me enough to make it before she left the house.
It brightened this busy, cold day for me in a special way!

Firsts And Beginning Again

Today's drink: Eight O'clock Coffee, with a little almond milk. Served in my new Starbucks to-go cup, given to me by my fav blonde 19 year old friend.

This morning is the first day of the new semester of LDA. Our homeschool starts back up today.
This is the fifth year I have been at this gig.
The first year, I'd have gone over plans for hours yesterday, checking and double checking my syllabi.
This year? This semester?
I'm on the couch, dog sprawled across my ankles, coffee at my side, kids upstairs, cats hunting each other, cold sunshine pouring through the windows.
We'll do our first day back 'on the go'.
I've got someone I need to visit this morning, and grocery shopping this afternoon.
The kids will use clip boards, sharpened pencils, and a few stand-by workbooks to ease back into school brains.
One will sit in the basket of the cart while I shop the Aldi, doing multiplication while surrounded by multiple foodstuffs. The other will squeeze her growing-too-long-for-it long legs into the seat compartment, circling answers to vowel/spelling questions.
I'll shop for the week, muttering under my breath about egg prices, and encouraging the boy to 'think it through' when asked for help.
We're not planning any 'grand return' to learning.
Not that Grand Returns aren't awesome.
I am a big fan of them.
If you know me IRL, you know I *love* to be crafty, making plans to delight my kids with fun experiences, cool hands-on learning.
Today, that is just not in the cards.
The me of years past would have fussed over that issue, the scheduling conflict, and felt guilty that they kids wouldn't have a 'big, over the top' new semester party day.
The me of NOW, realizes this: They'll be fed, clothed, warm, learning, and present with me.
That is enough.
Simplicity has it's time and place, and that time is today.
That year is the here and now.
The joy of being together, of being there when they figure out a concept that has been stumping them, of having been present for both of their first-read words, that is *enough*.
2016, you are a busy year.
But you don't have to be a stressful one.
This mama recognizes that the firsts, the beginnings again, they are *enough* when we are *together* and experiencing life as a family.


****Not that there won't be SOME extremely cool, over-the-top learning days..... after all, those are more for ME than for the kids. LOL!! ;) ****